DO PETS GRIEVE? HELPING A SURVIVING PET AFTER THE LOSS OF THEIR COMPANION

When we lose a beloved pet, we often focus (understandably!) on the grief of the human family members left behind. But what about the other pets in the home?

This is a question I hear often in my work as an end-of-life care veterinarian: Will my other pets understand that he or she is gone?

The truth is that grief is not an emotion unique to humans. Our pets form close attachments to the people and animals they share their lives with, and when one of those relationships suddenly disappears, they can be affected too.

Now, can we know exactly what a dog or cat is thinking after a companion dies? Of course not. They cannot sit down and tell us that they feel sad, confused, lonely, or anxious. And some of the changes we see may be related not only to the absence of their companion, but also to changes in the household routine.

But after years of helping families through the loss of their pets, I can tell you this: surviving pets often know that something has changed and they often grieve with us.

WHAT DOES GRIEF LOOK LIKE IN A PET?

Just like people, pets do not all grieve the same way.

Some pets show dramatic changes. Others seem almost completely unaffected. This can sometimes be surprising, or even upsetting, to a grieving family (especially when two pets seemed very close). But there is no single “right” way for an animal to respond to loss.

Signs of grief or distress can include:

• Decreased appetite or refusing food

• Sleeping more than usual

• Restlessness or difficulty settling

• Loss of interest in walks, toys, play, or other favorite activities

• Becoming unusually clingy or affectionate

• Withdrawing from family members or hiding

• Increased vocalization—whining, barking, howling, or meowing

• Pacing or wandering through the home

• Waiting near doors or windows

• Searching rooms or favorite resting places

• Changes in grooming habits

• Increased anxiety when left alone

• Changes in relationships with other pets in the home

These behaviors can be absolutely heartbreaking to witness, especially when you are grieving too.

SHOULD MY OTHER PET BE PRESENT FOR EUTHANASIA?

There is no one right answer to this question.

One of the benefits of in-home euthanasia is that other pets can be included when it seems appropriate for that particular family and that particular animal. They may remain nearby throughout the appointment, wander in and out of the room, or keep their distance entirely.

I generally believe in giving pets a choice rather than forcing an interaction.

Some pets want to stay close. Some seem completely uninterested. Some leave the room. All of those responses are okay.

After a pet has passed, families sometimes choose to allow surviving pets the opportunity to approach, see, and smell their companion. Because dogs and cats experience so much of their world through scent, this may give them information that simply having a companion disappear does not.

That does not mean every pet needs to witness a death. It also does not mean you have harmed your pet if this was not possible. Many deaths happen unexpectedly, at a veterinary hospital, or under circumstances where another pet cannot be present.

But when a goodbye is planned at home, allowing a surviving pet to participate on their own terms can be a reasonable option.

HOW CAN I HELP MY GRIEVING PET?

1. Keep life as predictable as possible

Grief already represents a major change. Try, when you can, to keep the rest of your pet’s world familiar.

Feed meals at the usual times. Continue bedtime routines. Keep walks relatively consistent. Maintain the little rituals that make up your pet’s day.

This may be harder than it sounds because your routine has changed too. Maybe you always walked both dogs together. Maybe feeding time involved two bowls instead of one. Maybe both cats met you at the bedroom door every morning.

Those routines can hurt after a loss. But predictability can be reassuring for a surviving pet who is already adjusting to a changed household.

2. Spend time together (but follow your pet’s lead)

Offer affection. Sit together. Take an extra walk. Spend time outside. Bring out a favorite toy.

But remember that more attention is not always better for every pet. A dog who wants to curl against you may benefit from that closeness. A cat who wants to retreat to a quiet room may need space.

Try to pay attention to the individual animal in front of you rather than deciding what they should need.

3. Encourage activity and enrichment

Exercise is one of our most useful non-medication tools for reducing stress, and it may be good for both of you. A walk does not erase grief—but movement, fresh air, sniffing, and a little structure can help a pet whose world suddenly feels different.

For older pets or those with medical conditions, “activity” does not have to mean strenuous exercise. It may mean:

• A slow sniff walk

• Sitting together outside

• A food puzzle

• A car ride

• Gentle play

• Exploring a new scent

• Spending time in a favorite sunny spot

  
  

The goal is not to force happiness. It is simply to keep offering opportunities to engage with life.

4. Watch the relationships between surviving pets

If you have a multi-pet household, the loss of one animal can change the entire social structure.

This is especially important when the pet who died acted as a source of confidence or direction for another animal. Relationships may shift, and occasionally tension can develop between surviving pets as they adjust to a new normal.

Try not to punish anxious or reactive behavior. Punishment can increase fear and stress. Instead, reward calm interactions, provide each pet with their own safe spaces and resources, and seek veterinary or behavioral guidance if conflict is escalating.

5. Consider keeping something that smells like their companion

For a pet who seems to be actively searching for or missing their friend, a blanket, bed, or other item carrying that familiar scent may provide some comfort.

You do not have to wash everything immediately.

Sometimes we feel pressure to clear away bowls, beds, blankets, and toys because seeing them hurts. There is no timeline you have to follow—for you or for your surviving pets.

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT APPETITE

Please do not automatically assume that every change after a loss is “just grief.”

Grief can look like illness. Illness can also look like grief.

If your pet stops eating, becomes very lethargic, develops vomiting or diarrhea, seems painful, has difficulty breathing, or shows other concerning physical changes, contact your veterinarian. This is particularly urgent for cats: prolonged lack of food intake can become medically dangerous.

I think this point is incredibly important because the timing can fool us. A pet begins acting differently immediately after a companion dies, so naturally we assume the loss is the cause. Sometimes it is. Sometimes a medical problem happens to be emerging at the same time.

When in doubt, have them checked.

SHOULD I GET ANOTHER PET RIGHT AWAY?

This is such a personal decision, and there is no universal timeline.

But in general, I do not recommend rushing out to adopt another pet solely because the surviving pet seems lonely.

A new pet is not a replacement for the one who died. They bring a new personality, new needs, new energy, and an entirely new relationship into a household that may already feel emotionally unsettled. Your surviving pet may find that exciting, or extremely stressful.

There is no magic number of weeks or months.

The right time is when you can welcome a new animal for who they are, rather than asking them to fill the space of the one you lost.

HOW LONG WILL MY PET GRIEVE?

Again, there is no perfect timeline.

Many pets begin returning toward their normal behavior within a few weeks, while others may take months to fully adjust. What matters most is the direction things are moving.

Is your pet slowly beginning to engage again? Are they eating? Sleeping? Showing interest in you and the world around them? Are there small signs that they are finding their footing?

Healing does not always happen in a straight line—for people or for pets.

YOU ARE GRIEVING TOGETHER

I think this may be the most important part.

After the loss of a pet, families sometimes worry that their own sadness is making things worse for the animals left behind. They feel guilty for crying. Guilty for changing the routine. Guilty because they cannot be their normal selves.

Your pet may absolutely notice that you are grieving. They know your routines, your voice, your body language, and the rhythms of your home.

But you do not have to pretend that nothing happened.

You lost someone you loved.

So did they.

For a while, home may feel different for everyone.

Be patient with your surviving pets. Keep offering them safety, routine, affection, movement, and opportunities for joy. Watch closely for signs that they need medical or behavioral help. And give yourself some of that same patience too.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is simply find our way through the loss together.

By Alissa Anderson, DVM, CHPV

Faithful Hearts Mobile Veterinary Services

Providing compassionate in-home pet euthanasia and end-of-life care support for families throughout Greenville, Anderson, Simpsonville, Easley, Greenwood, and surrounding areas of Upstate South Carolina.

Resources & References

• Faithful Hearts Mobile Veterinary Services. Companion Animal Grief.

• The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center, Honoring the Bond Program. Do Companion Animals Grieve?

• International Association for Animal Hospice and Palliative Care. How to Support a Grieving Pet.